Travelling has a different inference for people on various levels. One such experience was my trip to Ranikhet, which is sixty kilometres farther from Nainital, India.
As I said before about the diverse ways of perceiving the reason of travelling. For me, it is more of an idea to find peace from a life in the city, a near escape. Nevertheless, I found my reasons to travel be a little different this time around.
I wanted to experience Soul searching without even knowing the meaning of it all. I wanted to find solace through the big words for I was too naïve to get it right. Still, it was worth a try to explore the pages of my life which were left unturned. Maybe, I could find what I was looking for or face the dilemmas or thoughts I always found myself running away from.
The first day of the trip was a usual cry for help in my mind. I wanted to escape the feelings that made me feel trapped but I realised I was trying too hard. I thought about things I wanted to do or the “what-ifs”. All this never made me calm and looked nothing like I planned.
The next day, it felt different. I could feel the cold air of the place getting through me while I was walking in the narrow lanes of the city. I got excited about what lies ahead for me this time. I was content with the life I was living, what I had accomplished. I wasn’t thinking forward but I wasn’t whining about the past either.
Sometimes, a few things strike a chord and embed deep into our minds. It’s funny how books can make you do a complete reversal on the things that were once sacred to your heart and you thought to be true. This happened to me when I was reading a book. It had a simple thought that went like this and I quote,
“Did any Samana or Brahman ever fear, someone might come and grab him and steal his learning, and his religious devotion, and his depth of thought? No, for they are his very own, and he would only give and to whomever, he is willing to give.”
These lines were heart-wrenching. We have all had our hearts broken or felt hurt due to some reason or the other. But, these lines made a complete opposite perception of how I used to think. What we have acquired, or whatever love we have for others can’t be taken away if we never wished them to have. Those people were living in a false feeling of accomplishment because if we never gave anything, they never had it in the first place.
This gave me an instant redemption from the regrets I ever had. Serenity is what I felt, I believe.
I felt so energised by my emotional upliftment that I wanted to channelize my thoughts into something even bigger. Afterwards, I went to Chaubatia Gardens where you would find huge orchards laden with juicy fruits like peaches, apples, apricots and much more. It is a beautiful view. The gardener gave us an insight into how they predict a rainfall by pointing out to a plant that how it looks dry and that means, it is going to rain tomorrow. At first, it seemed like a trivial thought and I didn’t pay much attention to it. The next day it started raining and I recalled a line from a book called as The Secret by Rhonda Byrne that you get what you attract. Suddenly, many things started to make sense and a strange motivation to do things differently in my mind crept in.
We find happiness from the escape to the problems we planted. I found happiness by a connection to my own self a lot more than before. Which is why I was able to connect with the love from people close to my heart. Not only did I understand the affection, but also was I able to give back much more. I felt content and serene.
I still don’t know if that’s what they mean by soul searching or finding yourself. If all of this will matter for that I am too naïve to understand.
However, if given a chance, I would do it all over again.